Choice. It’s the key word in this giant debate that we have. When it comes to an unplanned pregnancy, the choice should be up to the woman.
And we agree with that – the your choice should never be forced upon you. But we also think that each woman should know all of her options – and the good and bad of each of those options – before she makes her choice.
This amazing lady has willingly given us permission to share her story so that others can realize there is hope in the midst of a difficult situation. All client experiences with Advice & Aid Pregnancy Centers are kept with the highest confidence. The stories that are shared come from the real-life experiences that our clients, staff and volunteers had during their unplanned pregnancy.
One big decision in six little words
“We’d like to schedule an abortion.” Six words that changed my life forever. These were not words that I said, although it was my child whose life was ended. These were not words from my parents or even the child’s father…
I was 17 and in love. I had a “pre-engagement” ring and was going on a day trip to meet my boyfriend’s parents and see his new apartment. It was nowhere on my radar that we would be having sex for the first (and only) time that afternoon… but that’s the direction that “seeing his apartment” took. On the way home I felt happy because now I knew that he really did love me! Except he didn’t. I never heard from him again.
It didn’t cross my mind that I could be pregnant until a couple months went by and I realized that I hadn’t had a period. It couldn’t be. But, if it was, I had to solve this problem without my parent’s help (they would kill me) or the father’s help (he had gotten back together with an old girlfriend and never knew I was pregnant). I told a co-worker about my worry and he said he knew someplace we could go for help. He drove me to the clinic where they gave me a pregnancy test. When they said it was positive, my friend said those awful words – “We’d like to schedule an abortion.”
That was it. No discussion. Problem would soon be solved.
Appointment made. Appointment kept. Problem solved. Except it wasn’t.
In Retrospect – Blessing or Regret?
As I approach yet another anniversary of that day, I know things now that the scared 17-year-old “me” didn’t.
I know that my parents would not have killed me; whatever their reaction, I could have survived. I know now that my Mom had become pregnant at 19 herself – the baby was adopted, and I have a wonderful half-sister that I met 13 years ago. Blessing #1.
I know that abortion can cause infertility. How do I know? It happened to me. My baby, “bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh” was NEVER to happen again. Ever. Regret #1.
I know that my baby could have been the biggest blessing ever experienced in the lives of a married couple who weren’t able to conceive. My baby would have been an answer to prayer. How do I know? It happened to me. After years of infertility my husband and I did foster care and were soon told that a baby girl had been born who needed a “forever family.” We were able to give their baby a chance. Blessing #2.
That beautiful baby girl is now in nursing school and is the sunshine of my life along with her (also adopted) brother. Yes, my baby too could have been some couple’s biggest blessing; he just never had that chance. Regret #2.
If you are facing the scary situation of being pregnant, learn from my experience – give your baby a chance. Please.
The three choices you have – to parent, to abort or to make an adoption plan – all have consequences; consider them carefully and don’t let anyone else make that decision for you because you will have to live with it forever.
Blessing or regret. It’s your choice.
Here at Advice and Aid Pregnancy Centers, we will never force you to make a choice you don’t want to make – we will only offer you the facts, love, and support you need. Making a decision this big is scary, but you don’t have to do it alone.
Come find hope, healing, and empowerment here by setting up an appointment – it just might be the biggest blessing you ever experience!