Sex and Consequences in a Tricky Time

The latest headlines of sexual harassment in the workplace and otherwise, the #metoo movement, and men of influence falling into disgrace after sexually inappropriate behavior have lead to many conversations in our society. What is “normal” sexual contact? What is a baseline amount of sex? What is allowed to be pursued sexually in a relationship, casual or otherwise? For many years, sex has been viewed as recreational and fun and not necessarily connected to any commitment. Sex is not the problem. Society’s attitude toward sex is more problematic.

 “The idea that pursuing one’s sexual imperatives should take place over workplace rules, lines of power or even just appropriate social behavior is what allows predators to justify sexual harassment and assault. And it encourages the not-predators to value their desires above those of others.”
(Washington Post, “Let’s Rethink Sex”)

So, what does this mean? The “sex-above-all ethic” has lead to the reduction of virtues of prudence, temperance, respect and even love. Perhaps sex has a deeper significance than momentary pleasure or recreation. Respect and love of one’s partner leads to commitment. With commitment comes facing unintended consequences such as an unplanned pregnancy together. It also leads to the reduction of STI (sexually transmitted infections) diagnoses/ treatments or facing an abortion decision in an unplanned pregnancy without a partner a reality. Children are brought into committed relationships and less likely to be fatherless. Security within the relationship builds a strong tie between partners and their children, building a strong family unit.

Unfortunately, marriage is declining in popularity. Many people have a fear of commitment. Sex is readily available and “cheap.” Men can readily find sex and women ask little in return. Porn is easily accessible, and women have to compete with virtual encounters. With the rise of the use of birth control, there is “easy sex without consequences.” (Wall Street Journal, “Cheap Sex and the Decline of Marriage.”)

For more insights on this topic of sex and consequences, a recent article from the Weekly Standard, quoting the Washington Post has some great insights. Read the entire article here: Washington Post: Conservatives Are Right About Sex.


When it comes to issues of sexual behavior, it can be helpful to have someone outside of your close circle to discuss thoughts and feelings with. Someone who can be both knowledgeable AND trust-worthy, all in a non-judgmental atmosphere.

Keep us on your short list. We can be that friend that you talk to when you don’t feel you can talk to anyone else. No pressure. No agenda. Just a helpful, compassionate ear.

STD . . . It Might Hang Around Much Longer Than You Know!
Long Term Effects of STD

It is important to know how to prevent STD’s (sexually transmitted diseases, also known commonly as STI’s – sexually transmitted infections).

But what about long-term effects? If they are treated immediately, are you “out of the woods?” Are there long-term effects that you should know about?

The short answer is: yes. There are long-term effects of many STD’s. And it’s important that you have all the facts that you need.

Chlamydia
First, the most common bacterial STD in the United States is Chlamydia (click the link to read more about it on our blog). This infection can be virtually symptom-free in up to 85% women; however, the cervix is the most likely to be affected by this bacteria. Symptoms include change in discharge, bleeding after sex, and bleeding outside of monthly cycle. The Chlamydia test is a routine one, and is offered through most doctor’s offices, as well as here at Advice and Aid. Chlamydia can cause a serious infection called pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), which may lead to sepsis, shock, abscess, and even death. PID can lead to scarring of the Fallopian tubes, which could increase the risk of infertility and ectopic pregnancy (baby implanting in the tubes/ovary instead of the uterus). Chlamydia can also cause an eye infection in your baby if you are infected at delivery.

Gonorrhea
Gonorrhea
is another common bacterial STD. Again, the cervix is the most commonly affected area. Symptoms are similar to Chlamydia – bleeding, change in discharge, itching, abdominal pain. Gonorrhea is also associated with PID. Gonorrhea may also lead to Fitz-Hugh-Curtis syndrome, a chronic liver disease. Gonorrhea can also cause an eye infection in your baby; babies receive ointment in their eyes at the time of birth to prevent this infection.

HPV
Human papillomavirus
(HPV) is the most common STD in the US, with 20 million men and women affected. This is the cause of genital warts. However, HPV leads to cervical changes that may cause cancer. Pap smears check the cervix for these precancerous changes. In the long term, HPV can lead to several different types of cancers.

Herpes
Herpes simplex
is another common viral STD. Both type 1 and type 2 can cause genital herpes. It is estimated that 16% of people aged 14-49 are infected. Herpes leads to lifelong infection of painful outbreaks. It is highly contagious, and most people don’t know they have it until their first outbreak. This requires antiviral medications for life. Babies born to mothers with active lesions are born with lesions all over their body, brain infections, and blindness.

Syphilis
Syphilis
is caused by bacteria as well. A common symptom of syphilis could be an open, painless sore that is often mistaken as a seemingly harmless bump. This disease, without treatment, can cause rashes, heart disease, and brain infections. Babies born to these mothers are usually deaf, have teeth malformations, and brain malfunction. This disease is treated with penicillin.

These are just a few of the most common STD’s. Most of these are treatable, but their possible long-term effects can be extremely severe, both to you and to possible future pregnancies. It’s important that you have all of the facts before you decide to have sex. One moment of passion could lead to a lifetime of unintended consequences.

Make sure your choices are fully informed before you make them.

— Information taken from UpToDate, an evidence based medical database.


If you (or someone you know) suspects that you might have contracted an STD, you should be tested immediately.

Most doctor’s offices can provide testing, as well as here at Advice & Aid.  Here, you can find compassionate, knowledgeable staff that will not only provide testing at no cost to you, but can offer the support and direction that you need. It all takes place in a confidential and helpful setting, allowing you to get the answers that you need.

Don’t put it off . . . schedule a confidential, free testing today. Information is your greatest ally.

You need to know!

 

STD – Should My Partner be Tested & Treated?
STD - Should My Partner Be Tested?

What exactly is a STD (also referred to as STI – sexually transmitted infection)?
An STD/STI is an infection passed from person to person through any sexual contact. The infection occurs when bacteria, virus or parasite grows on or in your body. Some STDs/STIs can be cured, and others cannot. For those that cannot be cured, there are medicines to manage symptoms.

Anyone may contract a STD/STI through sexual contact. Over 20 million people are infected each year. These infections affect people from all backgrounds and socio-economic groups. The largest age group for new infections are those aged 15-24. 

Women often have more serious health problems from STDs/STIs than men. Chlamydia and Gonorrhea are the most common STIs, and if left untreated, the risk of chronic pelvic pain or ectopic pregnancy increase. Infertility is also a possibility if the STI is left untreated.

It is important to be tested, and if positive, to be treated.

Any sexual partners should also be tested and/or treated to prevent re-infection.

Sources:
www.womenshealth.gov
www.cdc.gov


Additional articles from Advice & Aid:
So You Think You Know All About STD?
STD. . . It Might Hang Around Much Longer Than You Know!


If you (or someone you know) suspects that you might have contracted an STD, you should be tested immediately.

Most doctors’ offices can provide testing, as well as here at Advice & Aid.  Here, you can find compassionate, knowledgeable staff that will not only provide testing for both you and your partner at no cost to you, but can offer the support and direction that you need. It all takes place in a confidential and helpful setting, allowing you to get the answers that you need.

Don’t put it off . . . schedule a confidential, free testing today. Information is your greatest ally.

You need to know!

Stealthing – A New and Dangerous Trend You Need to Know About
stealthing

What is stealthing?
A new sexual trend called “stealthing” has seen an increase in occurrence as well as awareness in the community. Stealthing is non-consensual removal of a condom during consensual sex. Men secretly remove the condom during intercourse, without the knowledge or consent of their partner, and it is an extremely dangerous practice. When not using a condom, the risk of becoming pregnant or acquiring a STI or STD becomes a very real possibility. It is a matter of public health risk due to spreading sexually transmitted infections such as HIV, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, and many others.

Bragging Rights
Social media postings have encouraged men to stealth their partner. Some men have even argued they have the right to “spread one’s seed” and brag of the practice of stealthing their partner online.

A Criminal Offense?
The Columbia Journal of Gender and Law
recently published an article on this practice. Though the law is not clear on this practice, it could be considered a form of sexual assault. Stealthing could also violate several civil & criminal laws as the non-consenting person is violated and would be considered a possible sexual assault victim. In January 2017, a Swiss court convicted a man of stealthing. It was argued and found to be that the woman would not have consented to sex with her partner if he had not worn a condom, so therefore he violated her rights and betrayed her trust.  The act of stealthing was determined to be a blatant violation of trust with the sex partner.

Emotional & Physical Harm
Victims of stealthing may experience the same type of emotional, physical and financial harm that stems from other more clearly defined violent sex acts. This practice may also lead to a new definition of legal consent.

The more information you have, the more you can protect yourself! Be informed and be aware.
(Click for additional information from USA Today on stealthing)


If you – or someone you know – suspects that you might be a victim of stealthing, it’s absolutely critical that you are tested immediately, both for pregnancy and for STI or STD. Many STIs seem fairly harmless, but can have long-term and severe consequences if not dealt with immediately.

It’s also important to know that you have someone you can talk to if you have been a victim of stealthing.  Each person that walks through our doors receives the help of an Advocate; someone who will listen, guide and stay with you as long as you need them to.

For more information on STIs/STDs, check out this article.

Shacking. Small Word . . . Big Consequences
Shacking Up

Shacking. What an innocent-sounding term for something that can turn out to be anything but innocent.

If you aren’t familiar with the term “shacking,” the best way to describe it would be when two people “hook up” for a night, but one slips out, unnoticed, early the next morning. We see it portrayed in movies all the time, usually in a college atmosphere. The characters shack up for a night while drunk, and then don’t remember what happened by the next morning. Often, it’s supposed to be funny. Sounds pretty harmless, right? But what if there are long-term consequences that come from this? Suddenly, it’s not so funny OR harmless.

Obviously, pregnancy and STDs are the first of the consequences that come to mind. And while these are very real possibilities that should never be taken lightly, there is something else that needs to be considered. There is a very real – very serious – emotional aspect to shacking that someone needs to be talking about.

The honest fact is, bouncing from person to person for just a few minutes
of pleasure will eventually leave you feeling empty and meaningless.

Of course, we’re told today that women can do anything they want with their bodies. And they are right . . . we can. But just because we CAN do it doesn’t mean that it is good or that we SHOULD do it.

The point of this is not to sound judgmental, but rather to be a motivation for you. We are here to motivate you to love. No, not finding someone else to love. But rather, learning to love yourself.

Loving yourself means that you see yourself for the amazing, incredible person that God created. Having love – and respect – for yourself is something that no one else has power over. It is yours.

One college student summed up her transformation – and advice – this way:

After hitting rock bottom my freshman year of college from being involved with the partying lifestyle, I was absolutely disgusted with the person I became.

After transferring to (a different college), I decided to change my lifestyle and really fall in love with the beautiful life God had before me. Channel your energy toward your goals, education and people who want to build you up and I can guarantee you will feel so much better.

Travel the world, audition for a role in the play, join an organization or set a new goal to become the best version of you possible. Then when you are genuinely happy with who you are, someone special will come along. When you find another soul who is equally as goofy, spontaneous and challenges you to be a better version of yourself, then that is when you have got it right.

Allowing the right person to enter your own weird little world is one of the most breathtaking things anyone can have.

So girls, you want to truly be in control of your body? Realize that your body is a temple and should be treated with care and respect.

Suddenly, “shacking” doesn’t seem so glamorous after all!


Sometimes, making that decision to respect your body can be a difficult one; especially if you are making a lifestyle change. What you need is a friend to listen to your heart and help you figure out the steps you need to take to change. We can be that friend.

No judgment.
No agenda.
Just compassion and honesty.

An Honest Conversation About the STI Trichomoniasis
An honest conversation about Trichomoniasis

Written by Advice & Aid Nurse Andrea, RN, BSN

Trichomoniasis (aka “Trich”) is a sexually transmitted infection (STI) caused by a protozoan parasite called Trichomonas vaginalis. Most people do not experience any symptoms. It is the most common and most curable STI, but is more common in women than men, and older women are more likely to be infected than younger women. In fact, it is estimated over 3.7 million people are infected with Trich, but only 30% will have symptoms.

Trichomoniasis (Trich) is passed from infected person to an uninfected person during sex. The most commonly affected parts of the body are in the lower genital tract. It is usually transmitted in the genital areas, and not in other parts of the body such as hands or mouth. Infected people without symptoms can still pass Trich to others.

Over 70% of those infected with Trichomoniasis (Trich) do not show any symptoms. Those that do have symptoms range from mild irritation to severe inflammation that may appear 5 to 28 days from exposure (infection). Symptoms may also come and go. Men may experience itching or irritation, burning with urination or ejaculation, or even have discharge. Women may have itching, burning, redness or soreness of genitals, discomfort with urination, or discharge with unusual smell that may appear to be clear, white, yellow or green in color.  Having sex while infected with Trich can feel unpleasant.

Without treatment, infection may last months or even years. While infected with Trichomoniasis (Trich), the risk of contracting an additional STI  or spreading other STIs to a partner is increased. A pregnant woman infected with Trich is more likely to have her baby preterm or to have a baby with low birth weight (less than 5.5 lbs).

Trichomoniasis cannot be diagnosed through symptoms alone. A healthcare provider must perform a physical exam and lab test to confirm the infection. A single dose of a prescription antibiotic (such as metronidazole or tinidazole) is recommended for treatment, and can be taken by pregnant women as well. It is not recommended to drink alcohol within 24 hours of taking the medication due to unpleasant side effects. Trichomoniasis may be contracted again even if treated. Approximately 1 in 5 people are infected again within 3 months after treatment. It is important to wait to have sex after being treated until symptoms resolve, which may take about 1 week. If symptoms return, having a follow up exam and lab test is recommended.

The only complete method to prevent STIs such as Trichomoniasis (Trich) is to abstain from sex, or to be in a monogamous committed relationship. Latex condoms can reduce the risk of transmission of STIs but they do not cover all areas that could infect another person.

For more information, visit:
CDC
Mayo Clinic


If you (or someone you know) suspects that you might have contracted and STD, you should contact your doctor immediately for an appointment.

However, if you are not ready to talk to a doctor, it could be helpful to discuss your symptoms, concerns and options in a confidential and helpful setting with someone who has answers. Feel free to contacts us at 913.962.0200 to speak with someone who can help you determine your next steps. Our staff is compassionate, knowledgeable and can offer the support and direction that you need.

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Additional education articles on sexually transmitted diseases:
The Unfortunate Case Of Bacterial Vaginosis
What You Need To Know Now About HPV
Avoiding an Embarrassing Condition
What You Really Need to Know About Gonorrhea

Avoiding An Embarrassing Condition {And What To Do If You Have It}
What to do if you have chlamydia

Chlamydia is a common sexually transmitted infection (STI) that can infect both men and women. Untreated, it can cause serious, permanent damage to a woman’s reproductive system called pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). PID can lead to long-term pelvic pain, inability to become pregnant, and increase the risk of ectopic pregnancy (pregnancy outside the uterus). If you are pregnant and have chlamydia, you can pass the infection along to your baby during delivery. This could cause an eye infection or pneumonia in your newborn. Having chlamydia may also make it more likely to have a preterm birth.

How Did THIS Happen?
Chlamydia is contracted by having sex of any type with someone who has chlamydia. If you’ve had chlamydia and were treated in the past, you can still get infected again if you have sex with someone infected with it.

Being in a long-term, mutually monogamous relationship such as marriage is the best way to avoid contracting a STI.

The Symptoms – Ugh!
Most people with chlamydia have no symptoms. However, if you do have symptoms, they may not appear until several weeks after you have sex with an infected partner. Even when chlamydia causes no symptoms, it can damage your reproductive system.

Symptoms for women may include abnormal discharge and/or a burning sensation when urinating. The discharge may have an unpleasant odor. Some women may have pelvic pain and (rarely) may experience unusual bleeding. Men may experience discharge, a burning sensation during urination, and/or pain and swelling.

How In the World Do You Know?
There are laboratory tests that can easily diagnose chlamydia. There are two main ways to test for chlamydia: a urine sample or a swab test. Test results come back in 2-7 days depending upon the lab. You should not have sex while waiting for the results of the test.
If detected early, chlamydia is a highly treatable STI, responsive to antibiotics. During treatment, it is important to take all of the medication prescribed by your health-care provider. When taken properly, it will stop the infection and could decrease the chance of later complications. Repeat infection with chlamydia is common. You should be tested again about three months after you are treated, even if your sexual partner(s) was treated. You should not have sex again until you and your partner(s) have completed treatment. If your health-care provider prescribes a single dose of medication, you should wait seven days after taking the medication before having sex. If you health-care provider prescribes a medication to be taken for seven days, you should wait until the seven days of medication have been taken and completed. Medication for chlamydia should not be shared with anyone else.

Have an honest and open discussion with your health-care provider and ask whether you should be tested for Chlamydia or other STIs. If you are a sexually active person not in a monogamous, committed relationship such as marriage, or have had new or multiple sexual partners, you should be tested for chlamydia each year.

Information in this article were taken from the following websites:
CDC
Lab Tests Online


For more articles on STIs, how to identify, treat and avoid:
So You Think You Know All About STD?
Sex Education Articles


Need to talk to someone? We understand. In fact, we even have a nurse on staff that can offer you some very valuable insight. It’s even easier than you think: Simply make an appointment online (no uncomfortable talking on the phone), then show up at our office to meet with our nurse, who just happens to be very non-judgmental and completely easy to talk to. It’s that simple!

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What You Really Need to Know About Gonorrhea
What you really need to know about Gonorrhea

Gonorrhea, also commonly known as “the clap,” may affect any man or woman that is sexually active. The infection may occur in the genitals, rectum or throat.  It is a very common sexually transmitted infection (STI), especially in sexually active men and women between the ages of 15 to 24.  This infection may be spread through any type of sex with an affected person.  Pregnant women with gonorrhea can pass the infection to the baby. The baby may contract the infection during the delivery, and this can cause serious health issues for the infant.

Men with gonorrhea may experience a burning sensation with urination; a white, yellow or green discharge; and/or painful or swollen testicles. Women may not experience any symptoms if infected with gonorrhea. However, women may also experience mild symptoms that could be easily mistaken for a bladder or vaginal infection. They may experience painful or burning sensation with urination, increased vaginal discharge, or vaginal bleeding between periods. Rectal infections from gonorrhea may not have any symptoms, or the person affected may have discharge, itching, soreness, bleeding, or painful bowel movements. Anyone experiencing the above symptoms should be examined by a health care provider, including their sexual partner(s), so everyone may be treated to prevent further infection or complications.

Testing for gonorrhea may be performed using a urine test, or a swab may be used. Once a diagnosis has been determined, and treatment is needed for the infection, gonorrhea may be cured with the right medication. It is very important to take all medications as prescribed and do not share any medications with others. The right medication will cure the infection but not undo any permanent damage caused by the infection. Some gonorrhea strains are more drug resistant than others. If symptoms persist after the first few days of treatment, you should return to your health care provider for further examination.

Sexual partners also need to be treated in order to prevent a reoccurrence of the gonorrhea infection. It is very important to wait at least seven days after finishing treatment for the infection prior to engaging in sex again with your partner.  This will prevent reoccurrence of the STI with your current partner or giving gonorrhea to a new partner. Gonorrhea may be contracted again despite past treatment for the infection if engaged in sex with an infected partner.

Women without any symptoms at all are still at risk for serious complications. Pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) may occur if gonorrhea is not diagnosed or is left untreated. Women may experience the formation of scar tissue that could block the fallopian tubes, increase the likelihood of ectopic pregnancy (pregnancy outside the womb), infertility, or long-term pelvic or abdominal pain. Men may experience a painful condition that causes swelling of the testicles, causing the inability to become a father. In rare instances, untreated gonorrhea can spread to an infected person’s blood or joints, or may increase the chances of getting HIV or giving HIV to a partner.

The only way to totally prevent gonorrhea is to not have any type of sex. Also, when in a long-term monogamous sexual relationship with your partner, your risks will be greatly reduced. The use of latex condoms used in the correct manner every time engaged in sex will also greatly reduce the likelihood of contracting a STI.

If you are sexually active, it is important to be open and honest with your health care provider about whether you should be tested for a STI. Men who are gay or bisexual, and have engaged in sex with another man, should be tested every year. Women who are sexually active under the age of 25, or women who have new or multiple sex partners, should also be tested yearly.

For more information, visit www.cdc.gov or www.mayoclinic.org.


If you (or someone you know) suspects that you might have contracted and STD, you should contact your doctor immediately for an appointment.

However, if you are not ready to talk to a doctor, it could be helpful to discuss your symptoms, concerns and options in a confidential and helpful setting with someone who has answers. Feel free to contacts us at 913.962.0200 to speak with someone who can help you determine your next steps. Our staff is compassionate, knowledgeable and can offer the support and direction that you need.

At Advice & Aid, we encourage everyone to practice abstinence outside of marriage, and fidelity inside of marriage.  Advice & Aid does not provide or prescribe birth control.

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Additional education articles on sexually transmitted diseases:
The Unfortunate Case Of Bacterial Vaginosis
What You Need To Know Now About HPV

{Education} So You Think You Know All About STD?
STD

Why Should I Be Concerned about STDs?
If you are having sex with one or more partners, then you need to be concerned and know about Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD). Regardless of your age or number of partners, it is important to know the facts.

How common are STDs?
The United States has an epidemic of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).
Over 70 million Americans currently have an STD. This is roughly 20 percent of the entire US population. Nineteen million new cases occur each year. Half of these are in people under 25.

What causes STDs?
STDs develop from sexually transmitted infections (STIs) which can be caused by bacteria (chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis), viruses (HIV/AIDS, hepatitis, herpes, HPV), or parasites (trichomoniasis). Chlamydia is the most common STD. Human papillomavirus (HPV) is the most common viral STD, and some strains can cause cervical cancer.

How do you get STDs?
You get STIs during sexual activity. This includes vaginal sex, oral sex, and anal sex.

Why are STDs called the “Silent Epidemic”?

* 25% of all American ages 15 to 55 are infected.
* 50 – 80% of those infected don’t know it.
* Those who know it, often don’t tell.
* Infections with no symptoms can still be spread.

Are condoms effective?
The Center for Disease Control and Prevention found after reviewing 138 scientific studies in June 2006* that there is no clinical proof that condoms are effective in reducing the risk of infection from chlamydia, genital herpes, HPV, syphilis, or trichomoniasis. Some protection was found for men against gonorrhea infection, but not for women. Condoms were found to reduce the risk of HIV/AIDS transmission during vaginal sex by 85% when used consistently (every time a person has sex, without exception) and “correctly” (following a specific 6 step procedure). Using condoms 100% of the time still leaves a 15% risk of HIV infection compared to not using condoms at all. HIV is the virus that causes AIDS, a non-curable disease.

What this means is that you can be infected with any STD even when using condoms 100% of the time.

Really, the only way to 100% completely prevent the transmission of a STI/STD is through abstaining from intercourse.

*Centers for Disease Control and Preventions, Department of Health and Human Services, http://www.niaid.nih.gov/dmid/stds/condomreport.pdf 


If you (or someone you know) suspects that you might have contracted and STD, you should contact your doctor immediately for an appointment.

However, if you are not ready to talk to a doctor, it could be helpful to discuss your symptoms, concerns and options in a confidential and helpful setting with someone who has answers. Feel free to contacts us at 913.962.0200 to speak with someone who can help you determine your next steps. Our staff is compassionate, knowledgeable and can offer the support and direction that you need.

At Advice & Aid, we encourage everyone to practice abstinence outside of marriage, and fidelity inside of marriage.  Advice & Aid does not provide or prescribe birth control.


Additional education articles on sexually transmitted diseases:
The Unfortunate Case Of Bacterial Vaginosis
What You Need To Know Now About HPV

 

 

 

Sex & The Brain
sex and the brain

Breaking up is hard to do!
Breaking up is even harder after you have been sexually intimate with your partner. There is a great deal taking place in just the brain alone during sex. Not to be too technical about it, but there are several neurochemical processes that occur during sex, which serves only to strengthen human bonds.

Remembering the good, forgetting the bad
The brain is, obviously, a huge part of sex, and is strongly stimulated during intimacy. Because of this, the act of sex is desired by the partners to be repeated. The brain produces dopamine which is a very powerful chemical, allowing you to feel very strong pleasure. When dopamine is released, it literally changes how we remember.

Another chemical released is oxytocin, which helps us to forget all we perceive to be painful. Oxytocin is primarily produced in women’s bodies, most notably during childbirth. After a woman gives birth and breastfeeds her child, she produces oxytocin, producing a strong bond with her child. Mothers will die for their child due to this strong bond, triggered by the release of oxytocin, as well as from the skin-to-skin contact with their newborn.

This same response occurs when a woman has sex with a man. Oxtocin is released, and she bonds with him emotionally. Often, this bond is so strong that when a woman is being abused by a man, she cannot bear to leave him.

But what about the men?
Men produce vasopressin, also known as the “monogamy hormone.” It has the same effect that oxytocin has on a woman. It strengthens the bond between a man and woman when they are sexually intimate.

These “bonding” chemicals narrow the selection to one person as our sexual partner. It is definitely good in a marriage relationship, but not good in a dating relationship because you are less likely to be objective when making your selection of a mate.

Save it – and here’s why!
When you have sex before marriage, you are more likely to be deeply hurt. Relationships unfortunately end, causing a great deal of pain due to what has taken place within the brain during sex. The emptiness following the end of the relationship is very painful, and you may rush into a new relationship to dull the pain. The neuro circuits do not have time to adjust, and the ability to bond with the new partner is impaired. This is especially true if a new sexual relationship begins.


If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, but finding it hard to leave for any reason, contact us immediately.

We can be reached many different ways:
Phone 913.962.0200
Schedule an Appointment online: Here
Private, Confidential Online Chat: Simply open the blue chat box at the bottom, left of this page


Content for this post taken from the article Science Proves Premarital Sex Rewires the Brain