I think that of any group of people in the world, the single woman adult population is the most diverse. I say that because in my line of work (Advice & Aid Pregnancy Centers), we see such a variety: women who, like myself, have always been single, and women who have been married but who are single again (whether through divorce or loss of spouse). We also see women who are single moms – maybe single again for whatever reason, or those who have always been single.
That’s a lot of different kinds of single people. And I’m here to tell you: Each single person is uniquely created to fulfill a purpose!
However, for some reason, it seems that many single women live their lives as if this is the staging area for a bigger production … they are just sitting in the waiting room outside the rest of their real life that’s yet to come.
All too often, there are misconceptions that as single women, we can’t live out our purpose in life until we become a wife or a mother. We hear from our friends that if we would just “put ourselves out there more, we’d find a husband.” They tell us that we are simply too picky.
(By the way, can anyone tell me what is so wrong with being “picky?” What happened to the advice, “Don’t settle, because God has the perfect man for you?” Is that just advice for high school girls?)
Far too many of us find ourselves developing a kind of complex that whispers to us that we’re just not complete until we’re married. It can almost feel as if life really doesn’t begin until after marriage. Somehow, we don’t really count until we’re married. We just don’t… measure… up.
But that couldn’t be further from the truth!
To decide to pursue your own passions and purpose as a single woman is not equivalent to you throwing in the towel on the possibility of marriage and family. It does not make you an old maid. It does not make you a lost cause. It does not mean you are destined to be single forever.
I have lived almost 32 years of single woman life. I know it is hard to be the third wheel, or feel singled out for being single, or be literally one of the last of your girlfriends to walk down the aisle. And even beyond that, I know how hard it is to remain pure in the face of all the cultural pressures to give in.
But if we begin to look at being a single woman as an honor – a lovely gift – I believe we wouldn’t be quite as upset about our martial status.
There’s nothing wrong with desiring marriage and family. I believe both are from the Lord. But these years of singleness can be a time for you to be totally investing yourself in something or someone outside of you. You have the calling right now to do things that only a single person can do.
So live your single life as if it were on purpose. Because, quite frankly, it is.
Are you feeling the need to talk to someone who understands? Maybe it’s not even about a pregnancy, but more about the unique challenges that face women. No matter what issue is weighing on you, we are here for you. Feel free to use the “chat box” at the bottom left of this page, or make an appointment to come in and talk to us. You’ll find that we are great listeners!
