Emily is a volunteer at Advice & Aid Pregnancy Centers. She is sharing her story so that others can realize there is hope in the midst of a difficult situation.
The stories that are shared here come from the real-life experiences that our clients, staff and volunteers had during their unplanned pregnancy.
All names on our blog have been changed, but their stories are true.
My name is Emily.
This is my story of why I help others.
As a young married woman, my husband and I were excited at the prospect of having a family of our own. We both came from families with five children each and liked the dynamics of a group of siblings sharing experiences, growing through life together.
Infertility & discouragement
After nearly a year of hoping to get pregnant, we began to get discouraged and wondered why we could not be blessed with a child. We were young and felt that we had plenty of time, but were still disappointed month after month when I would not be pregnant. After some time, we embarked on the journey of doctor visits to find out if there might be a medical reason for our infertility. Our doctors at the time explained that it was common practice to begin with the easiest/least expensive tests and advance through a regimen as possible problems were eliminated. As is usual in these cases, the tests for the men are fairly simple and rule out many situations quickly. The focus seemed to shift to me as we moved through the tests. Since women are blessed with all the marvelous anatomical parts to actually sustain a pregnancy, I found myself seeing specialists and being poked and prodded in ways as never before. Also during this time, I seemed to hear of more and more young girls who were pregnant, unmarried, and trying to “decide what to do about it.” I remembered several girls who had been pregnant during our high school years and had had babies during that time. It seemed there were so many “accidental” pregnancies that came so easily for some, yet my situation was so discouraging for my husband and me as we looked toward our future.
Success . . . then the treatments return
With persistence, many hours of testing, and months of doctor visits, pregnancy finally did happen for us! We were ecstatic and blessed with a beautiful baby boy, healthy and perfect in our eyes. As we looked to add to our family in the next couple of years, we again faced fertility problems. After a move and time that had passed, we started over with the infertility testing in our journey to have another child. We again went through tests and procedures to give us another chance for a biological child. We considered adoption. We really didn’t want to jump into the ethical issues of IVF; choosing to terminate one embryo or fetus for the benefit of another was not in our realm of possibilities. And again, my mind went to those many “accidental” pregnancies that I knew of that seemed to come so easily for some, yet it didn’t happen for me. I sadly also knew that some of these “accidents” had been aborted. This is heartbreaking for most people to hear, but for couples who want a baby so badly, it is truly unthinkable. Maybe I could have adopted one of those children…..
And so, our story went on. After treatment for endometriosis, drug therapy to throw me into menopause at the age of 30 (to not let my body feed the endometriosis) and knowing ovarian cysts were present, I was able to try again to become pregnant a few months after my body returned to its normal “age.” As we see it, another miracle joined our family about a year later. Our second son was born almost six years after his brother. No, we didn’t plan on this timing, but God did!!! We know God’s timing is perfect and both of these babies are now young men. We see them as such blessings in our lives and in the lives of the many people they have touched. The struggles were tough, but God saw us through and answered our prayers, but of course, when HE was ready!
Why I volunteer – and how Advice & Aid can help
Because of my experience with infertility, I knew I would always want to encourage women to make a life choice for their baby, no matter how the pregnancy came about. Some of these ladies may not be ready to parent a child, but what a gift they could give others through adoption. Many of the clients I have worked with only need to know there is a place they can come to get love and support, a place where they have time to learn and make a decision that they can truly live with for the rest of their life. I had supported Advice & Aid through donations for many years before I became a volunteer. I now am humbled and privileged to work with clients who find themselves in a crisis pregnancy. I consider it my important job to give them truthful information, making it possible for them to make one of the most important decisions they may ever face. Advice & Aid is pro-woman. We want women to get the care they need when pregnant and to be assisted in every way possible. I seem to always learn something from the clients and I truly want them to feel safe and respected by all of us at Advice & Aid.
Additional Stories by Advice & Aid Staff:
Abby’s Story – Unexpected Pregnancy & the Information You Need
Mark’s Story – Men Helping Men