Sarah is willingly giving us permission to share her story so that others can realize there is hope in the midst of a difficult situation. All client experiences with Advice & Aid Pregnancy Centers are kept with the highest confidence. The stories that are shared come from the real-life experiences that our clients, staff and volunteers had during their unplanned pregnancy.
Her name has been changed but her story is true.
It Couldn’t Be Possible
There had to be some mistake. I couldn’t be pregnant. Things like this only happened to other people. The woman at the Pregnancy Resource Center ran the test again at my request. The test was still positive. I cried harder and begged her to try again. She indulged me, and once again the test was positive. I asked her for a fourth test and she looked at me with such compassion, and simply said, “I can run it again, but the result will still be the same. You are pregnant.” My life as I knew it was over. I thought I had my life all planned out. My college experience had been an ideal one full of friends, parties, sorority events and a great boyfriend. Life was a lot of fun and I was just discovering who I was in the midst of it all. And I was in love for the first time in my life.
My boyfriend was sitting on the couch next to me, looking stunned. I was hysterical. “I could have an abortion.” The thought crossed my mind just moments after finding out I was pregnant. After all, I was only 19, still in college and not ready to be a parent. I could barely take care of myself, let alone another human being. Alarms were going off in my head. “What are my parents going to say? Will my boyfriend leave me? Could I even do this on my own? What will people think of me?” He gently put his arm around me, squeezed and said “We’re going to have a baby. It’s going to be great.” It was hard to believe him when he looked so pale and ready to be sick at any moment.
A Shoulder to Cry On
I needed fresh air. I felt like I was suffocating and needed to leave that room immediately. What was I going to do? My grandmother lived close to my college, so I called her. I needed some perspective. I drove to her home, and she met me at the door. She took one look at my face and said, “You’re pregnant, aren’t you?” I broke into tears and confirmed her suspicion. She looked at me, held me in a loving embrace, and softly said “We’re going to have a baby. It’s going to be great.” The same words I had just heard from my boyfriend. Maybe I could do this, maybe I could have a baby and it wouldn’t be so bad. I left feeling uplifted and hopeful.
I drove back to my sorority house and spoke to a few good friends. I trusted them and knew they would support me just like my boyfriend and grandmother. I was wrong. Soon after telling my “friends,” I was called before our sorority standards board and chastised for being immoral for having premarital sex and for deciding to carry my pregnancy. They stripped me of my Greek letters and told me to move out immediately. If I left quietly, they would not hold me to my housing contract. Until that moment, I did not feel ashamed. I was extremely humiliated and wanted to disappear. Again, I called my grandmother, and she arrived within the hour and packed me up and moved me into her home. My boyfriend was also caught up in this whirlwind, and decided to be upfront with his fraternity about our situation. Surprisingly, they were very supportive and so very kind. Maybe I was finally catching a break…
Small Town Woes
Living in a small town has many advantages, but also many disadvantages. Gossip travels fast. Everywhere I went, people stopped and stared and whispered. It was hard to take, and made me feel even more distrustful of others and isolated in my situation. Was I doing the right thing?
My boyfriend and I ultimately decided to parent our child. The initial support I received from the woman at the pregnancy resource center, my boyfriend, and my grandmother made all the difference. Though we had many obstacles to overcome, we have never regretted our decision. Despite everything we may have lost, we gained so much more loving our daughter and sharing her life.