This photo is dear to my heart. It’s why the sanctity of human life is so deeply passionate for me. Only by the grace of God was this photo even possible. Six years ago, we found out we were having twins and it shattered my world. It was overwhelming; it made me so angry at God for giving me more than I could handle or wanted. After my initial sonogram, I laid in bed for weeks in despair.
I had all the lies whispered into my mind during that time:
“They will ruin your life”
“You can NOT do this”
“Just terminate this pregnancy now – no one will have to know, and your life will be so much better”
“You’re never going to be able to parent all of your kids well – it’s best for you and your entire family if you abort”
“What a huge burden this will be on you and your family”
“Look at your friends who are struggling with infertility. It’s cruel that God would give you too many kids and not give any to others who want them so badly”
“Rick will never know if you just take the money out of savings and go to the clinic on a day he’s at work. Just tell him you miscarried”.
It was all I could do to not pick up the phone and schedule an abortion. It was only by the grace of God that I have a wonderful husband who supported me, friends and family who showed up without knowing my deep sadness, and a Creator that gently whispered Truth in my ear. The lies of Satan felt more like truth than the Truth did. Through tearful and LOUD prayers of anger, frustration, heartache, selfishness and fear, my heart was softened and I began to see promise . . . The promise that GOD DESIGNED these little humans for purposes and plans beyond my comprehension. But most of all, that these babies and I were LOVED beyond measure.
My pregnancy was difficult, painful, and I struggled emotionally and spiritually. But through it all, I was held. These little boys that were being knit together in my womb became a gift of grace, truth and deep love all around. And we made it to full term delivery.
These boys have rocked our world – in so many difficult, holy, beautiful, redeeming ways. Would life be easier without them? Ye, it would. Would life be better without them? Absolutely not! God’s design is always better, but rarely easier.
I’m forever grateful for the deep despair that I felt, because it gives me compassion, grace, and so much LOVE for other women who are struggling in the midst of a scary, unwanted pregnancy. It gives me grace and so much LOVE for women who have chosen to abort their babies out of fear.
I understand the lies that feel like truth.
I understand the fear and desperation.
But I know that’s not the end of the story.
God is bigger than any fear or lie. Because HE LOVES YOU, no matter what. And that little wiggly life on that sonogram screen has more God-given potential than you could ever imagine.
There are so many amazing crisis pregnancy centers full of loving staff and volunteers who welcome you with open arms! They do a holy and redemptive work to help women choose life and hope and redemption. There is so much help and counseling available for women who are hurting over the pain of abortion. Help is out there, and healing is waiting.
You ARE LOVED, dear sister. Loved beyond comprehension.