Nicole is willingly giving us permission to share her story so that others can realize there is hope in the midst of a difficult situation. All client experiences with Advice & Aid Pregnancy Centers are kept with the highest confidence. The stories that are shared come from the real-life experiences that our clients, staff and volunteers had during their unplanned pregnancy.
Her name has been changed but her story is true.
My name is Nicole.
This is my abortion story.
I was not young when I had my abortion. Many women are college-age when they have an abortion, but that was not the case with me.
I had married my high school sweetheart at the age of twenty-seven. We had been happily married for seven years when his father died rather quickly and unexpectedly. After the death, my husband spent all of his available time with his mom. His sister told me to give them a year to grieve. Unfortunately, my husband could not seem to recover from the death and we divorced after nine years of marriage.
When I found myself single and dating, I was always careful about sex. Even though I was a virgin when I married the first time, my attitude was different after my divorce. I figured that no guy I dated expected me to be a virgin since I had been married. I dated a few guys and had sex with them, but I was adamant that they use protection. I wasn’t about to get a sexually transmitted disease or get pregnant. While I was married, I had wanted a baby and had tried unsuccessfully to get pregnant. This left me to believe that I possibly couldn’t get pregnant.
About a year after my divorce, I met a man and became sexually involved with him. He refused to use protection and within a month of meeting him, I found myself with an unplanned pregnancy. When I told him, he said that he didn’t love and me and wouldn’t marry me. I suggested that I get an abortion then, which really meant nothing to me. I had always considered myself to be pro-choice and I thought a woman should be able to do whatever she wants with her own body. However, I was a Christian and I knew that it was a baby. I knew myself and thought I wouldn’t be able to carry a baby for nine months, give birth to her and then hand her over to a stranger through adoption. I am adopted, so I didn’t feel I wanted that option. Although none of my options seems ideal, abortion seemed like the one I should choose.
I didn’t get counsel or speak to a place like Advice and Aid. I didn’t know that places like that even existed. The dad put lots of pressure on me to have the abortion so I made the appointment at a local clinic. I went back and forth on my decision many times during the two weeks before my appointment. I was 38 years old and I knew that this might be my only chance at having a child, but I didn’t want to be a single mother. I would call the dad about five times every day and tell him that I couldn’t go through with our plan. He would get mad and tell me that it was the only way.
Finally, abortion Saturday came. I was a nervous wreck. The whole procedure was terrible. I felt very little temporary relief after the procedure. This was followed by tons of regret. I became very depressed.
Years later when I met and married a wonderful man, God blessed us with a daughter who is now 14. I am so grateful that God gave me a second chance to become a mother.
I don’t want another woman to go through what I went through.
I have found Advice and Aid to be a wonderful place in which I can give back by helping other women who have also experienced abortion.