Brooke* is willingly giving us permission to share her story so that others can realize there is hope in the midst of a difficult situation. All client experiences with Advice & Aid Pregnancy Centers are kept with the highest confidence. The stories that are shared come from the real-life experiences that our clients, staff and volunteers had during their unplanned pregnancy.
*Her name has been changed but her story is true.
Life Growing Up: Both Sweet and Bitter
I came from a middle-class, military family; the only girl growing up with three older brothers. Because of this, I feel I learned at an early age what having a little tenacity was all about! Although, my brothers and I were products of two loving, caring, and supportive parents, who loved, cared for and supported their kids, this love didn’t go over so well in their own relationship. As a result, my brother’s and I found ourselves as kids living without our loving parents as preteens and teenager’s moving into adulthood, which happens to be one of the most critical times of our lives!
Both my dad and mom passed away very young, leaving my brothers and me to go live with our Grandmother. Having lost my father at the age of 11 years old, I believe subconsciously I was searching for that father-figure love that I once knew. Being the only girl, and youngest of three boys in the family, I was totally spoiled rotten and was definitely “Daddy’s Little Girl.” After he passed away, I was considered everyone’s “Little Girl,” as the family was so happy that my mom had finally had the baby girl that everyone had been praying and waiting for! And in all fairness, I thank GOD for providing me with certain family members who stepped up to complete the job that my parents had started. Although, I received lots of love and nurture growing up, it didn’t keep me from becoming a mom at only 16-years old.
Pregnant at 16: A Decision to Make
I remember clearly the day it dawned on me that I could be pregnant. My first thought was, “What did I just do to myself, my life, and my mother? She is going to kill me if she finds out I am pregnant!” I called my son’s dad and told him the news and his response was, “I can’t have a baby now!” He told me that I needed to get an abortion and that he would pay for it. I knew at the time I was too young to be a mother and truthfully, I remained neutral about make a solid decision. I thought that if he came up with the money, I would think about it; and if he didn’t, then I would just keep my baby. The funny thing about my situation is that I knew eventually I would have to face the music. I knew, though, that my mother loved me enough to forgive me and that she would eventually get over it.
Finally, three months had gone by and I had not heard from my son’s dad so I decided to keep my baby. I would let my mom find out when the baby is born, and that is exactly what happened! I was able to hide my pregnancy up until 7 ½ months, until my son was born prematurely and I had to be rushed to the hospital.
A New Baby: My Mother’s Reaction
When my mother found out that I had delivered a baby boy, she was not happy to say the least! She had even suggested that I give my son up for an adoption, as she was so upset. Her very words were, “Your life will be altered forever now!” But, since my son was a preemie baby and had to stay in the incubator for a while, it gave my mother time to adjust and calm down to this new addition to our family. She actually adjusted to having a grandson quickly and gave my son his middle name. She even babysat while I went back to school or to give me a break. However, the sad thing about this story is that my mother only had five months to enjoy time with her beautiful grandson. She passed away on the exact day he turned five months old.
Because of the example of love and support of my mother, I was able to show love and care for my child. Her demonstration to me of how to be a good mother is why I didn’t just jump to give in to my fears and have an abortion. I truly realized now, that GOD was in the decision the whole time – watching and orchestrating the events of my life, especially when I messed up!
Life Today: No Regrets
My son is all grown up now and tells me how he is grateful and thankful that GOD stepped into the picture. Back then, I really didn’t understand the consequences of having an abortion and the guilt that follows! I, too, look to the heavens and say “Thank you, Lord!”
So, if you are dealing with an unplanned pregnancy and thinking about having an abortion, I ask and challenge you to think twice! Why? Because I have listened to many relatives and friends tell their stories of regret, now years later wishing they had not made that decision to abort their unborn child.
Do you see yourself in this story? Maybe you have a fear of telling your parents. Maybe the biggest fear is just not knowing how to walk this road ahead of you.
No matter your exact situation, there are likely parts of this story that you can relate to. Too young? Unplanned? Bad timing? Financial struggles? The list of reasons that a pregnancy isn’t right can go on and on.
But we understand all of that, and can offer some real hope and solutions to these issues. Just stop . . . take a moment to breathe . . . and get the information you need to make the decision that is best for you, both the current-you and the future-you!
With the right help on your side, you might just find life’s surprises can be sweet!