Choosing to Find Value in a Life - Planned or Not

Choosing to Find Value in a Life – Planned or Not

The following was written by one of our staff members here at Advice & Aid; someone who has walked through pregnancies – planned and unplanned, wanted and unwanted – with many.


Before the days of over-analysis, back when a cake was a cake was a cake, I had my share of it.  I never had the thought that one cake might be better than the other… or that the ingredients in the cake would make it taste any less enjoyable.  “Nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee,” so the branding says.  It was cake, it was there and it was good. 

Advice and Aid Pregnancy Center is based in Kansas City – home of the Chiefs and our newest love, Patrick Mahomes.  We do love us some Mahomey here in Kansas City!  Here, there, and practically everywhere you go nobody doesn’t like Patrick Mahomes.  He’s a treat for all of us:  talented, kind and a source of hope.  He is a long-awaited victor in the land of almost and on a field of loss.  We do love him, and rightly so. 

When he announced that he and his soon-to-be fiancée were expecting a baby, this town roared to its feet!  Not only did we have a prodigy, but this talented dad’s genes were about to be displayed through his child – a baby Mahomes is to be born unto us and we are elated.

It causes me to pause and wonder why we celebrate and delight in one baby’s coming, yet despise and dread the thought of another baby’s coming.  Is it because it is a different baby with less-talented-appearing genes?  Is it because we know that baby will have no apparent financial footing laid for its life?  Is it possibly because the of the color of the baby’s skin?  Baby Mahomes will have an unexpected blend… as we all actually do. 

In reality, it is because hope is in a life; and we predict that this baby will thrive.  We expect that this baby is meant to be… that this particular child will be a delight, have a great life and will be wondrous.  Maybe because of money… maybe because of genetic potential. But certainly because of our assumptions.

We, at Advice and Aid, are incredibly excited for Baby Mahomes to be born.  We are also excited for the baby born last month who now lives in a temporary shelter with his unemployed, young mom.  We are excited for the baby born last week to an unmarried couple who are both students.  We delight in the Christmas Eve birth of a son to an unmarried, teenage mom… a very familiar sounding story that actually just happened a few weeks ago.  She delights in her Christmas Eve miracle as well, even though she is young, not finished with her education, and unmarried. 

These are real people we know and connect with on a regular basis. We do this because we know that new life has hope.  We know that all new life has potential and that existence matters.

An unsavory tendency is spreading like gangrene in the country.  We take two people, examine them for their circumstances, words, actions and beliefs and then we decide one is worthy of life and celebration, while other is worthy to be disposed of, despised or erased. 

The reality is that if we slow down and really consider what is happening, we will see that both the celebrated and the despised can have incredible gain for the teachable heart.  Both can be thought of with a little more hope or a little less despair for the flexible mind that has not grown so rigid as to think nothing great could be produced in the next few weeks, the next four years or the next nine months. 

Is it possible that when we view a baby with despair or wish to dispose, we might crush the future grandmother that will bake cookies and read stories to our great, great grandchildren long after we are gone? We might crush the future father that we didn’t know we have the capability to raise up. 

Yes, there is joy in simplicity and in accepting that what exists already exists.  There is hope in slowing down and anticipating what could be… what can be.  Potential is already forming.

Truly a cake is a cake is a cake whether we judge it to be better based on ingredients or just accept it for what it is.  A cake is a cake is a cake and will taste good enough if we will simply take a bite and try it.  A baby is a baby is a baby, too.  A person is a person is a person.  A victory is a victory is a victory.  And hope is encapsulated in these things when we can learn to celebrate them all.


If you, or someone you know, is in a situation where an unplanned pregnancy is throwing you a curve-ball in life, then perhaps a visit with us exactly what is needed.

Simply make an appointment online, and when you come, you will meet with your very own Client Advocate – someone who will walk with you, cry with you, laugh with you, and be there to answer any question you have. For the long haul!

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